A clean well lighted place in the book fiction, there are two waiters bickering about there customers behind their backs. There cowered in a way because they don’t say it in the customers face. Would you want to eat at a place that your waiters whispering to another waiter while looking at you? Shore doesn’t make you want to eat there, if it does why?
There is an old waiter and a young waiter. Some would say they younger waiter is less smart than the older waiter, but that is not necessarily true. The older waiter is more likely to be smarter but you can’t just assume. Like in some places whey assume more that others I mean whey assumed it in a book but would you go around saying “OOOO your young you’re not as smart as him he’s older” Would you? But if you did and said it behind their back it doesn’t make you a coward.
What makes you a cowered is hiding something that you are scared of sharing but you tell your friends about it and not they person it's about, not always the same if it's your self.
So In the book fiction at a clean well lighted place, the waiters are both talking mean things about the customers and saying it behind there back. Also one is older and the other is younger but they both know about the same about there customers.
Two definite revisions needed:
ReplyDelete1. Re-write your introduction. Right now there is no focus and no thesis. What are you writing about in this paper?
2. Focus your body paragraphs on specific topics. Then prove that topic with examples from the story, not just random examples from life.
You have great ideas, but when you put them all together you were talking about them for too short of time. If you would have had more paragraphs or less information, I think that this would be easier to read and not so short and choppy.
ReplyDeleteI like the ideas but they arent put together like conected, so i kind of agree with Andie. It also had a couple spelling and grammar errors make sure to go back and fix those things. Have some connections but over all i think the ideas were strong.
ReplyDeleteI like it but there are a few errors but there minor and fixable
ReplyDeleteI thought it was interesting, but it came back to the same topic you need to fix some errors with grammar and spelling and juice it up a bit make it something worth wild.
ReplyDelete